Stuff (and Christmas)

     Stuff? Yeah, stuff. All kinds of it. It might as well be called a status update or something.

Shirokuma Cafe Panda tired

     By the start of the fall season I voiced my worries that this season might be quite busy (in real life). At first however everything seemed just fine (as usually is the case during the beginning of an academic year) and I burst with enthusiasm – to watch more, to write more and to read more. And then during the first days of October all the responsibilities (old and new) seriously kicked in. Eventually I realized I had fallen behind reading other people’s posts by whole two weeks. I’m sure some of you noticed weird likes coming for posts written quite a while ago. Then by cruel filtering I managed to almost catch up – a lag of a few days seemed like I was almost back in form. And then again a relapse happened. Everything certainly wasn’t bolstered by the fact that I accidentally closed my Chrome with several dozen of tabs open (yeah I know that it’s a huge toll on memory but I still find that convenient) without an option to restore the session. At this point I’m not even sure how far behind I am.

Fate/Cooking Saber

     I’ve somehow managed to keep up with weekly episode updates, but even there I’m pretty much a week behind a schedule that I’m comfortable with. It also might be some sort of a mild case of a burnout. I was fully aware that the shows I’ve chosen this season probably won’t make me satisfied. That turned out to be true, and I probably can say it’s a season I’m having least fun in quite a while. The thing is that to be able to write something about an episode I need to push my brain into a “reviewer state”. It doesn’t mean that I automatically try to be nitpicky but it still is a process requiring extra energy to be able to notice things and write some notes about them. And after returning home after quite a hectic day (and still having to prepare some stuff for other days) I don’t usually have the will to exert myself to be critical. And when trying isn’t compensated by emotional satisfaction of seeing really great anime, it starts getting hard to see the whole point of trying. Does that mean that I’m becoming tired of anime in general? I doubt (read “hope”) that. Rarely coming episodes of Fate/Cooking aren’t usually masterpieces but are very enjoyable. An odd episode of Yamishibai also kind of works sometimes.

hanebado Ayano

     Another problem is that I’ve always been a person who enthusiastically starts new things but finds it very hard to finish them to a satisfactory degree (or finish the at all). Seeing the relative success of my Dear Diary post (quite a while back now) I attempted to do something similar with Hanebado. Hanebado? What’s that, you ask? Yeah, while after the initial spurt I paused my work when about an hour of work could’ve seen the post finished, one thing lead to another and at this point I don’t think there’s anyone who cares or remembers Hanebado anymore to be interested in such a post if it appeared now. Sadly, the post’s future lies in a scrap box. Another day I attempted to do something similar with Banana Fish but there I eventually realized that I don’t know the characters well enough (or care about them) to be able to write anything to my liking. That’s also getting scrapped. There are other posts that are in a similar state but I think I’ll finish them. Eventually. There’s one about the first SAO light novel, about three or four anime reviews – I’m not that idle, only weak-willed. Why don’t I finish everything? Well, it partly can be attributed to my working method. I tend to write everything that comes to mind (the easy step), then to edit everything into a more comprehensible state (the harder step), and then finally to let it sit for a while (a day at least) and then re-read everything and make some finishing touches. Why the waiting? I want to completely restart my brain and view the post in as different light as possible in order to see the possible mistakes (both textual and factual).  The thing is that I fail to find a balance for this last step – if I wait too little, I can’t view the post as objectively as I would like to, and if I wait for too long (as usually is the case) I either become immersed in other stuff or simply start forgetting things that are associated with the anime (or something else) I wrote about.

     It’s not that I couldn’t find enough time. True, apart fro mother things, I recently started learning some programming (with R), and anyone familiar with that knows how time-consuming such stuff can get, even if the results don’t show that. Still, I like to think that there’s always enough time for everything, you only need to find it. Still, the case of me watching not particularly interesting things lead me to start doing other stuff a bit. I started re-reading Andrzej Sapkowski’s Witcher Saga. Remember Witcher games (I played only the first two, but damn they were good)? Yeah, they were loosely based on the book series. It probably helps that, being from a country not that far away from Poland (Sapkowki’s Polish) I think I get the cultural context that inevitably seeps into the pages far more apprehensible and dear than, for example, an odd American would. So yeah, that has been fun.

I am a Hero cover

     Probably because of the frustration in the anime department, I also read some darker manga. Hone ga Kusaru made was quite enjoyable though after a while I don’t think I remember it that much. A bigger investment was I am a Hero – something I had my eyes set on for quite a bit. And boy was that good. Except the ending, sadly. What’s weird, my music playlist during this time became somewhat milder – quite an unexpected turn for someone who has been enjoying more upbeat vocal music for a long time. Contemplative instrumental post rock (with some possible jazz elements) do contrast with my manga choices, but oh well, that’s how it is. Some months ago I probably wouldn’t have imagined myself listening to Jizue, Mono or Maybeshewill. Oh well.

     So yeah. I’ll try to sort everything out. I feel really bad that I write these episode reviews (that I don’t think I add enough positive passion in) and people do read and do comment (thank you all a lot) on them while I don’t even find time to read other people’s opinions. It’s not a thing to do, ever. I hope I’ll sort everything out eventually. I hope that during this week I’ll kickstart my reading again. I’m sure that I’ll feel some shame for some time for missing some great content but I guess there’s no way around that now. Oh well. I haven’t opened my Twitter in forever, so there’s another place I should try visiting more often. Well, anything is more often compared to nothing, so yeah.

     The high-activity period in the end of the year has passed and I hope to finish some mentioned posts. Hopefully, my choices next season will be more sensible (looking at you, Boogiepop), so my episode reviews also should have less negativity. Well, even if I’m not happy about my usual cynicism about SAO or Golden Kamuy or Banana Fish, I realized that it’s crucial to have at least something to write about, even if that’s comparatively low effort. If not these weekly posts, who knows – I might have stopped posting at all, and in the perspective it’s not a thing I think I should stop doing. And with some posts there should be more life in the blog, because if the things go as they are now, by May my steadily and logically declining viewer count will reach negative numbers.

     So yeah.

     Well, at least I can wish you a shiny day.

     And Merry (late) Christmas, by the way.

Shirokuma cafe Ookami Christmas

Leave a comment

2 Comments

  1. terranceacrow

     /  December 28, 2018

    ” and at this point I don’t think there’s anyone who cares or remembers Hanebado anymore to be interested in such a post if it appeared now. ”

    I’d love to read your take on Hanebado! That is, if you want to take the time to write it! If you’d prefer to use the time on something else, I’ll be happy to read that instead!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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