Dear Diary

Dear Diary.

     My scarf is getting more and more disheveled. It’s a sad thought that the fabric of my most valuable possession will not last forever. I need to fix it. I hope we’ll find some time to take a longer break. Levi insists that our gear should be spotless and shiny so I think I could steal a few moments then and try to fix the raveled parts, it’s already past time to do it properly. Thank you kindly Mr Reiss.

     Yeah, we took care of him. Of it. Orvud, albeit with half of its wall destroyed, is still standing. It was tiring. We’re all ok.

     I heard that Krista… Yeah, I still manage to forget sometimes that she isn’t Krista anymore. The timid mouse with forever scared eyes is gone. Anyway, I heard that Historia announced her rights. People surely were confused. Imagine that you go on with your business and then the military declares that there’ll be a drill that nobody wants, and during the drill it turns out that it’s not a drill anymore. Then everything is apparently saved by some girl who falls from the sky and smashes a cart of someone’s beloved cabbages. Jean said that he heard someone screaming “My cabbages!” from far away but I doubt he’s serious.

     Anyway, Historia declared her queenship then. I hope that girl will manage somehow. I know she will but that will be a challenge like no other. I don’t know from where she has drawn all her strength – it’s not like she has someone dear to her anymore. Her best friend (or was it only a friend – I’m still not sure) turned out to be a titan and while I liked Ymir alright as a person, I’m in no place to have faith in her once she ran away.  Historia’s dad suddenly appeared and, as Eren told me, really seemed to care about her, at least in her own eyes. I’m not sure what really happened to Historia in the underground – Eren says he doesn’t want to talk about it and I think it’s better not to ask. It really shook him though. I was afraid when he started blabbering something about being useless and stuff – I didn’t hear well through all that wind. A huge titan nearby didn’t help either. I tried to ask him what’s wrong later but he didn’t say and later just started punching himself. Sometimes I wonder if I really know him even after all these years together. Armin said the same thing. Sure, he knew Eren longer but he also agreed that he’s an enigma. I’ll still stay by his side no matter what. When he needs me, I’ll be there.

     Well, everything turned out alright by the end. Eren eventually returned to his usual self and managed to shove some explosives into the mouth of Rod Reiss titan. I was afraid that Eren might be blown off himself (I don’t understand why Erwin doesn’t even try to subdue Hange’s love for explosives) but he managed to get away. Somehow. I still fear that one day he might do something careless that we wouldn’t be able to undo. I don’t want to relive those moments when Armin told me Eren was dead. Well, at least he seems alright now. He even had a friendly argument about something with Jean afterwards. It’s ok. I hope.

     These days I sometimes feel left out. Sure, Armin always may lend an ear, but I have little to say to him. About the girls, Historia only recently returned but is already spending more time with the higher-ups than with us. Ymir is gone. Sasha usually hangs out with Connie when she’s not eating. Can you believe that she ate half of our provisions when we were chasing the Reiss titan? You know, I, for example, also like potatoes. When there’s any left. The guys also have their own talks and jokes. At least Eren finally returned.

     Well, it’s time to do some training. We’re all tired but Erwin insists on retaining the form. He’s not wrong. I hope it’ll be Erwin assigning commands. Levi would make us clean all the mess the titan made. I’ve no wish for that.

     Well, see ya. Got to make sure Eren isn‘t doing anything stupid.

     M.

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Posted by Aldael on September 20, 2018

https://aldael.wordpress.com/2018/09/20/dear-diary/